Like being sucked down a black hole...

That is what this month has felt like. I need to say this one more time, then you will just have to know, I LOVE CHRISTMAS. I probably love it too much. I want to fill our time with it. I love tradition and non-tradition. I love the new and the old. We eat, we drink, and at our home we are Merry!

BUT I AM BEING SUCKED INTO A BLACK HOLE OF NON-HEALTHY! I swear I can't win, not even for trying. For the last three weeks our evenings have consisted of AT LEAST 6 out of 7 nights having some sort of major event in which our family has to dawn our December best. Our gracious hosts always offer delicious treats, and if they don't, well dinner on the run will have to do.

I fixed dinner at home tonight in the first time longer than I can even remember.

My body is suffering for it. I have actually gained weight the past 3 weeks, ugh! I really do hate the thought of that. I must confess it, or I am going against my weight loss beliefs that you must confess what is really happening, so here it is, oh God, this will hurt...

Since my dad passed away 6 months ago, I have gained 20 pounds. That's a lot. The gain has been slow up until the past two weeks. I usually gain some weight around this time, so I am praying that when I finish falling from the tree (January 1st), that I will only have about 10 pounds to get back off.

I think this is a sad time of year also. It makes me sad that my boys and I have to do this alone. Don't get me wrong, there are TONS of people around us who love and support us, but THESE people deserved to be here, and when my babies stand in front of others to perform a Christmas program, I can't help that think that life isn't fair, and chocolate will make that better.

I miss them a lot, and I take it out on the cookies, popcorn, etc. this time of year. It doesn't help that my dad loved to cook and it was part of the holiday tradition to make tons of stuff and to EAT it all through December. We would generally have no less than 16 types of cookies on the table in December, and when one would run out, he would stock it with something new. He loved to make goodies for us, and I guess a little bit of me feels like if I don't taste that in December some of the memories may slip away.

So, for 10 more days my hips may get wider, but it's not over for me. Although painful parts of my journey are because of them, I do take this journey to change the outcome for my kids, so twenty years from now I can still be toting them around to see Christmas lights, or watching Christmas movies with them. I journey because of all of them, and this black hole will not get me as long as I can see their faces.

It's The Most WONERFUL time of the year?!?

Really?

I'm not a scrooge AT ALL, at least I don't think so, but this time of year my healthy lifestyle SUCKS! I try hard, but fail often. The goodies, the business, the stress, it all gets to me.

Here's how my month has gone... cookie baking, decorating, gift buying, something every.single.night., Christmas party, wrapping, more shopping, open a new business... what?, the list is absolutely endless. I finish one thing, and three more have added themselves to the end.

I am trying to eat well, but failing miserably. Trying to workout, but I'm exhausted.

Here's the good news... this happened last year. Then New Year's Day came, and I truly had a fresh start. I was sick of eating crap, and had plenty of time to workout again. So I did, and I regained some motivation, and I lost 35 pounds.

So maybe this is the most wonderful time of the year. Maybe it's just the break that my body and mind need to be ready to do this one more time. Does that give me permission to gorge myself on everything? No, but enjoy this time. Enjoy your family. Eat a little, workout a little, and love the moment that you are in. Then, January first, I'll meet you here.

Dip Away, and Day One Done!

So the first day of the rest of my life is over, and I am working hard to stick to the holiday plan. I have already faltered a bit, but maybe not... see, we made sugar cookies last night to decorate, and like I mentioned, each person only got enough to eat right then. No leftovers. However, part of the plan was to only bake once a week at my house, and then I baked 4 loaves of Christmas Bread, YUM!



Here's where I think I am still OK, I HAVE NOT CUT INTO THE BREAD YET. Therefore, the sin does not count. I have to get rid of some of the bread, but I had enough bananas to make more and more, and I just couldn't waste the opportunity. I did make it as healthy as possible using splenda instead of sugar, and applesauce instead of oil. I can't wait to eat it... do I have to wait until next week, or can I justify it as breakfast???



I had my first morning (extra) workout today. I'm not going to lie. I hit the snooze, hit the snooze again, then reset my alarm to get up at the normal time, aka, no workout. Then, I felt guilty that I wasn't giving the morning workout a shot. Then, I bribed myself with a skinny vanilla latte on the way home if I went (no, it didn't cancel the calories burned), and I really liked my morning workout! I felt accomplished by 6:30 in the morning. I have been more conscious of my eating all day because of it, and I feel good!




I also made a new discovery in the Walmart Salad isle this week. Otria Greek Yogurt Dips by Marzetti . They were located near the refrigerated salad dressing. Here is why I love them:

• They are delicious. My favorite so far is the Cucumber Dill Feta.
• They are made with Greek Yogurt. This means more protein, less salt, and less carbs... that is if you are comparing it to regular yogurt. Imagine the benefits of eating Greek Yogurt vs. Hidden Valley Ranch!
• Way less calories. It is a thick creamy dip that has at least half the calories of dressings and other dips that we put on our veggies.
• They come in Chipotle Cheese, Cucumber Dill Feta, Garden Herb, Salsa Cilantro, and Spinach Artichoke

So if you haven't tried Greek Yogurt yet, give this a try with some veggies. Dip Away!

There you have it, a little bit of random for your day!